I'm a crier

So I'm sure everyone, by now, is highly aware of the fact that I have a lot of feelings... and I'm really bad at hiding them.

Today was the last chapter of the semester... and quite possibly one of the longest and most emotionally taxing days of my life. (We're talking almost nine HOURS of chapter here... it was intense.) We usually do elections for the upcoming semester at the end of the current one, and today was no different.

I ran for Pledge Master this semester...and lost. I'm actually okay with losing, because I really don't have as much experience in dealing with the brotherhood as my competitors do and let's be serious- Pledge Master is a huge responsibility. A responsibility that I was ready to take on, but huge none-the-less. I should probably say that I'm really proud of everyone that won their positions, and I really am... but at the same time, I'm not 100%, jumping up-and-down, super stoked for next semester. I'm really sorry if that offends people, but it's how I feel. I don't necessarily agree with some of the decisions made today- and I'll leave it at that.

I don't make it a secret that PTG is probably one of my least favorite things, but today was quite possibly the one exception to that thought process. Today was the senior's last PTG, and everyone's PTG's were super heartfelt and very personal. Of course, this means I spent the entire 45 minutes that I was there for PTG bawling because it was all very touching, and I'm going to miss everyone SO much. I actually gave a PTG at this chapter, and thanks to my waterworks, it took me forever to get through... I didn't get everything out that I wanted to say because, let's be serious, nobody wanted to listen to me cry for an hour trying to get everything out.... so I'm going to re-count my PTG, with all the new parts added in. :)

1. Congrats to the NIBs!  You're all so amazing and I'm so proud and excited that I finally get to call you my brothers!
2. Falyn- You're seriously one of the most dedicated people I know. You do so much, and you get so much shit from other people... You're amazing.
3. Ricardo- my toe is still blue...and it hurts. :) I can't believe you're graduating in two weeks... I don't know what I'm going to do without you in my life. Your personality is seriously infectious and you're one of the most genuinely amazing people I've ever met. I love you beyond belief!
4. My dearest littles- I was absolutely terrified at the beginning of the semester that you would all hate each other or, even worse, me. I didn't know how I was going to actually be able to be the big that I wanted to be, and I didn't know how I was going to survive having three of you being a NIB myself. I'm honestly so glad that I took all of you this semester. You've taught me things about myself that I had never even began to think of, and you continue to amaze me on a daily basis. You're all so amazing and I'm so glad that you don't (as far as I know) hate me or each other. :)  I have honestly never felt so proud of anyone in my life as I did during your pinning as brothers at initiation. You three are going to be amazing brothers and will (hopefully) make me a very proud grand-big next semester. I know I can be slightly (and by slightly we all know I mean quite) overbearing at times, but I love you all with all of my heart... and I hope you realize just how much that is.
5. Hilary - You're seriously my best friend. I didn't walk into ΑΦΩ expecting to meet you and to have the bond that we do. You're the one to bring me back down from my insane emotional flare-ups and I know you're always the shoulder I can go to when I have tears that need to be cried. You have literally changed my life just by being a part of it, and I am so beyond thankful for you.
6. My amazing BIG! You're such an important part of my life and I literally would be so lost without you. I don't know how I'm going to function next year with you in Spain... Thank you so much for being such an amazing role-model for what a true brother should be. You've literally made my ΑΦΩ experience something that I'll treasure for the rest of my life. I love you SO much... it's not even funny. :)
7. To this amazing group of people I'm so fortunate enough to call my brothers- thank you so much for just existing! I know that we complain (well, I complain) a lot about things, and we all lead different life paths... but we all come together for a common reason and the love that we share for one another is something that I am constantly in awe of. It's such an amazing feeling to know that if I ever needed one of you, that all I have to do is pick up a phone and I have over 100 people that would (hopefully) drop what they were doing to come help me out. I am so lucky to have each and every one of you in my life, and I cannot imagine what my life would be without all of you in it. I don't want to imagine my life without any of you in it... because let's be serious, it would suck. I love you all so much.<3

I'm sure there's more in there, but I'm working and I'm trying really hard to NOT live up to my reputation as 'THAT girl who cries at everything'... even though that's exactly who I am. :)

The point is- I love you all, and I'm so thankful that you're all a part of my life.