I just want finals week to be OVER.

I'm tired of trying to cram information into my alraedy full-to-capacity brain and I'm ready to have my day planner go from being jam packed with things to do to being virtually empty. I'm ready to have most of the people in this city leave for a few months, and I'm ready to spend the summer focusing on myself. I'm excited for the two classes that I'm taking this summer in an effort to somewhat revive my GPA and I'm looking forward to being able to actually make plans to go places that I don't have to cancel at the last minute because of school, or work, or APhiO.

I pick up my official graduation check tomorrow... I'm not really sure how I feel about that yet. I mean, there are some days where I just can't wait to get the hell out of Tallahassee and get on with my life, and then there are other days where I don't even think about leaving because it makes me incredibly sad. You'd think that with my background as a Navy Brat, that I'd have this whole 'move somewhere, create a feeling of home, get attached to people, move somewhere else, repeat' mentality on lock... but there's something different about this time. (I know, I say that about every time, but for real- this time is legitimately different) There's something about this place, this school, and these people that I can't bear to even think about living without. I know that the possibility of this phase of my life lasting beyond a couple of years was never anything more than one of those wishes that get made when times are really good, and I know that, even if I didn't leave, other people are going to leave and get on with their lives... but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I don't know what the anticipated date for graduation is going to be when I pick up my check tomorrow afternoon, but I do know that I'm probably going to have a pseudo freak out at the fact that there's actually a date on the paper... I just don't know that I'm ready for things to even remotely look like they're coming to an end.

I started my senior speech for APhiO the other night (In anticipation for the final awards banquet that I don't even want to think about) and it's already three pages long... single spaced. I think the really sad part about it being that long is that the only people I've even managed to include in my speech thus far are the members of my family. I already know that I'm not going to call out everyone that's made a difference in my life, because we'd be there for hours, and that coupled with the fact that I cry at everything would just be too much to handle, but I do want to at least mention some people and my thoughts about my time in this amazing brotherhood that I've come to regard as my family. It still needs some work (and to be finished) so we'll see just how crazy it sounds once I've got everything in order the way I want it.

Graduation is this weekend. I'm not going to any of the ceremonies, but I'm already positive that I'm going to be a mess once everyone's alumni status becomes official. I'm warning you all now- if you don't do emotional stuff, don't call me this weekend. I'm just trying to save you the trouble of dealing with me. :)