THE SEMESTER IS OVER.

I'm home until Wednesday.

I couldn't be happier. :)

It's officially the last day of the semester... and I've been in Strozier with Scot since like 7:15 this morning. We totes bonded over the ROYAL WEDDING which was phenom. So much for being productive and studying for our finals. Oh well... C's get degrees, right? 

(Just kidding, mom)

The rest of today.... well, it sucks. I'm just ready for today to be over, my legit last shift to be done (curse my good nature and the need for money), Jean to graduate, and for my little bug to be on I-10 heading west for a few days.

I was in a great mood tonight... and then I got to the desk. I was really excited that Shannon ended up being my RA on call tonight, because I think she's fantastic and she just makes nights in this hall [that] much better... It's her last shift as an RA at FSU, and it makes me sad knowing that when I come back over the summer and in the fall, she won't be here (here as in on campus, not specificially in this building) to pick me up when I'm having a rough night or to just listen to me babble about whatever while on rounds. I'm glad that she'll still be around this summer though... she's definitely someone that I want to keep as a part of my life.

Tonight is my last Night Staff shift of the semester... and I'm at the point where I don't want it to be over. I mean, sure, a somewhat legitimate sleep schedule would be nice, and not spending the night in uncomfortable chairs in temperatures that are incredibly bi-polar sounds fantastic... but I'm going to miss this job for the month an a half that I'm not working. I've met some amazing people and had some crazy times while doing this job... I'm going to miss the way things are when summer officially starts and then the fall rolls around.


I have my last final of the semester tomorrow afternoon... I'm already mentally checked out, however, so I can't really tell you how I think it's going to go. I'm sitting here staring at all of my notes, and any whisp of motivation I had to commit this information to memory is completely gone. (Clearly, as I sit here blogging instead of studying...) I just want it to be over so I can focus on the summer.

Thanks, for making me feel like a complete asshole.

Now I'm awake, still slightly sleep deprived, and pissed. 

I'm aware that the storm that rolled through the South East today was awful and that it had horrendous effect on the lives of a whole bunch of people. I never said that I didn't care that upwards of 200 people died and towns were demolished.

All I said was that the storm positively contributed to one of the best naps I've had in a while.

There was no need to comment on my Facebook status (which has since been deleted because you made me feel like a tool) and tell me that how I felt about things was wrong. 

Back off.

 The last time I checked, my feelings about things didn't have to match yours... not that I owe you any explanation as to how or why I feel a certain way about things.

I don't have the patience for you today.

Family

Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. Like I have said before "Blood makes you related but actions and love make you family."

My big posted this as his status on Facebook earlier, and it made me want to cry. 

(I know what you're thinking, and you're right- it's nothing new. It's no secret that I overinvest in my friendships because I want people to know I care about them and, let's be real, I'm just that emotional girl that takes on the feelings of the entire world.)

I've been thinking about family a lot lately, with all the seniors that are graduating this semester, and all of my outside-of-APhiO friends (yes, I still have a few) that I've managed to neglect all semester while I've been so involved with work and the brotherhood. I feel absolutely terrible that I haven't been around more this year, but what I absolutely love is that all of those people that I've neglected this year are still there, ready to start things up right where they left off the last time we talked. I'm so thankful for all of the amazing people I've had the opportunity to get to know here in my time at FSU (God, I sound like I'm dying or something) and I'm really glad that a lot of them are still around to put up with me. I can honestly say that I love them all more than they could ever imagine, and that they're the true definition of what 'family' should be.

My big called this afternoon to tell me that he got extra tickets for his graduation ceremony for my twin and me. I can't believe his bougie 'Will Work for Graduation Tickets' sign actually paid off (I wish I had a picture to show you... it was hilarious) and that I'll be sitting in the civic center at 9am on Saturday watching him walk across the stage and receive his diploma. I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this yet. I mean, clearly I told him I would be there- he's my big and he's been a huge part of my life this year. I can't not support him at one of the most important moments in his life... but I'm really sad that it's actually happening. I'm happy for all of the seniors and their accomplishments, but I don't want them to leave. They're all such amazing people, and I know they're going to do amazing things with their lives... but I just want to be selfish and keep them here forever.  

I'm not staying in town this weekend. Of course, my plans are slightly altered with this graduation business, but as soon as it's over and I do the obligatory hugs, tears, and photos... it's two hours of quality time with I-10 for me.

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

Attempting to mellow out before my final with Glee.

I just want finals week to be OVER.

I'm tired of trying to cram information into my alraedy full-to-capacity brain and I'm ready to have my day planner go from being jam packed with things to do to being virtually empty. I'm ready to have most of the people in this city leave for a few months, and I'm ready to spend the summer focusing on myself. I'm excited for the two classes that I'm taking this summer in an effort to somewhat revive my GPA and I'm looking forward to being able to actually make plans to go places that I don't have to cancel at the last minute because of school, or work, or APhiO.

I pick up my official graduation check tomorrow... I'm not really sure how I feel about that yet. I mean, there are some days where I just can't wait to get the hell out of Tallahassee and get on with my life, and then there are other days where I don't even think about leaving because it makes me incredibly sad. You'd think that with my background as a Navy Brat, that I'd have this whole 'move somewhere, create a feeling of home, get attached to people, move somewhere else, repeat' mentality on lock... but there's something different about this time. (I know, I say that about every time, but for real- this time is legitimately different) There's something about this place, this school, and these people that I can't bear to even think about living without. I know that the possibility of this phase of my life lasting beyond a couple of years was never anything more than one of those wishes that get made when times are really good, and I know that, even if I didn't leave, other people are going to leave and get on with their lives... but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I don't know what the anticipated date for graduation is going to be when I pick up my check tomorrow afternoon, but I do know that I'm probably going to have a pseudo freak out at the fact that there's actually a date on the paper... I just don't know that I'm ready for things to even remotely look like they're coming to an end.

I started my senior speech for APhiO the other night (In anticipation for the final awards banquet that I don't even want to think about) and it's already three pages long... single spaced. I think the really sad part about it being that long is that the only people I've even managed to include in my speech thus far are the members of my family. I already know that I'm not going to call out everyone that's made a difference in my life, because we'd be there for hours, and that coupled with the fact that I cry at everything would just be too much to handle, but I do want to at least mention some people and my thoughts about my time in this amazing brotherhood that I've come to regard as my family. It still needs some work (and to be finished) so we'll see just how crazy it sounds once I've got everything in order the way I want it.

Graduation is this weekend. I'm not going to any of the ceremonies, but I'm already positive that I'm going to be a mess once everyone's alumni status becomes official. I'm warning you all now- if you don't do emotional stuff, don't call me this weekend. I'm just trying to save you the trouble of dealing with me. :)